"Penny for your thoughts"

Don't sell yourself short! I have always been fascinated by the phrase "You are what you eat". At first I thought it meant that if you are fat, you were fat. Simple enough!

I was helping my daughter, Regina with her chemistry homework recently. She actually believes that I know something about chemistry. I found the assignment to be more philosophical than scientific.A flask was filled with water and defined as H2O, a complex of atoms from the gases hydrogen and oxygen. Another flask was filled with olive oil.The question was simply... what types of traces of foreign matter would you expect to find in each flask? I thought that if the chemist was a true scientist he would find traces of everything that has ever come in contact with the olives that were used to make the olive oil. He will find traces of the acidity of the soil in which it grew.Perhaps a slight amount of the fertilizer used to enrich its growth. The vitamins and nutrients that are found in this food group have had their basis in the soil, sun, air and water which aided it's growth.

Without creating too much of a story within a story, it was pretty clear that olive oil is not just olive oil.But what happens when we pour one flask into the other? We no longer have water, nor do we have olive oil. We have a mixture of chemicals which a chemist would now define as separate and distinct from oil or water...a new composition.If we were to take a human being and carefully separate each and every cell and each and every chemical composite, we would be able to "define" a human being in chemical terms.

What if this human being drank a glass of our water and oil mixture before the analysis? Obviously the chemist will have to change his definition, for it will have the composite chemicals of oil and water. This is something that is done quite commonly in criminal pathology to determine a cause of death.If you can imagine the scientific, chemical breakdown of each and everything that you eat, you can only agree with the statement that "You are what you eat".If you eat an apple. You are everything that you already are, plus, you are an apple.At first this is hard to accept, but if we take a very simple look at what we are in chemical terms, we can see that we continue to change each time we ingest something. If we smoke a cigarette, we are all that we are, plus we are nicotine, and other carcinogens.Our body simply conforms to whatever it is that we "do" to it. If we care for it it becomes healthy.

If we ingest poisons, drugs, alcohol and other elements that have no business inside a human body, we have no one to blame but ourselves for the damage that will be done.Take an overweight person, for example. It isn't enough to just say "I am fat". They "are" fat. Real fat. They are everything that a human being is plus they are fat and cholestrol and sugar and hardened arteries and all of the things that they become as a result of simply eating too much of the wrong things.One of the most difficult things that most people have tried in their lives is to lose weight or quit smoking. In 99% of the cases, people are unsuccessful in their attempts. Why? Because they are still the poison. The only way to eliminate the problem is to become the solution. But it's too easy to do that. Most people need to have a difficult process in order for them to feel like they are accomplishing anything. Imagine if you just stopped smoking, or more importantly began to eat the right foods. Without much effort, you will become the solution intead of the problem. You will "be" health.So much for the physical side of us. What about that side of us that we can't dissect into chemical elements. Our mind. Our thoughts.

I believe that we are what we think too.Our mind and our brain are filled with thoughts, memories, feelings, emotions, plans, expectations, etc. If we were to try to define ourselves from this perspective, it would be a bit more difficult. Earl Nightengale taught that we become what we think about each and every day. Of course he only taught it. It wasn't his original idea.

In fact, 5000 years before Christ, Buddha said the same thing. Then, of course, Christ said it, and it was interpreted by hundreds of spiritual leaders throughout history.If we think hate, we are hateful. If we think love, we are love. If we worry, we are worry.If we accept the premise that each and every thought that we have is part of us. Then how could we not agree that we are what we think about all day. We are what we ingest into our body and we are what we ingest and create in our minds.If we think about our terrible financial condition, we will always have it in our minds and therefore we will become the picture that we have created for ourselves.Some people actually believe that some business men use their minds more than say, a laborer.

The fact is that no one could exist if their mind was not active all of the time.It is absurd to think that any person uses their mind more than any other person, but it is a fact that each of us use our minds differently.In our day to day activity, each of us are confronted with millions of decisions which require brain and mind activity. The difference between how each of us will process the information and messages we receive is one of the most fascinating mysteries I have ever encountered.Each of us has a perception of the things that make up our lives. This perception is all that we have. Take away the perception and you take away the idea.

Take away the idea or the thought and you erase the matter altogether.Skepticism is a perception that is based on doubt. It is merely a different way to process thoughts. A skeptic looks at every situation and forms a negative outcome. His perception is that things do not turn out the way we wish they could. His process can't be right or wrong, because for the skeptic it is surely right. To you it may be wrong. No, it is just different.Then we have the visionary who opens his mind to every or any possibility in any situation. His mind works just as much as the next person, but he has a completely different process for using his mind. He expands everything that he sees into it's furthest growth or most productive outcome. He see everything as an opportunity.Sometimes he is viewed as talented. By others he is perceived to be somewhat flighty or air headed. His ideas are often bigger and broader than most others. For that reason he may be labeled a dreamer. He is looked down upon by the realist, admired by the mystic and the seeker and appreciated by the intellectual.Some people are labeled the "know-it-all." To some, he is the mentor. His information and knowledge of general information is received with appreciation. To others he is perceived as a nuisance. His attitude seems to make others feel inept and uncomfortable. He appears to use his talents to intimidate people, when he may only be processing his information and his thoughts faster and more efficiently than others.There are seekers, thinkers, psychics and mentors. You may know wise men and scholars or bookworms or dreamers.

The philosopher claims to hear an inner voice. The expert proudly displays the sources of his experience and knowledge on wall plaques laden with certificates of higher education.We have seen an Age of Enlightenment, Age of Reason, The Information Age and the New Age, yet the human brain has not changed its process. Each person processes his thoughts differently.

Have you ever heard someone say "Don't confuse me with the facts or "Ignorance is bliss." These phrases are usually spoken by people who have a different thinking process than we do. They prefer to have less information to process, which they believe will make the process easier.Some of the great quotes that I have enjoyed for many years are: "I think, therefore I am" (Dyer says, "I think and that is all that I am" Another favorite is "One idea leads to another." and one of the best - "An unexamined life is not worth living."

Recently, I was driving through my old neighborhood. If you drive through very quickly, it appears to have changed dramatically. But upon close inspection it has changed only slightly.One of the things that I recognized almost immediately is that the people are the same. I don't mean that they look the same. I mean they are exactly the same people. Son has become father. Daughter has become mother. Each and every family that chose to remain in this community has maintained the same economic, educational and social level of the generation before them and the generation before them.I was never proud of the fact that I was voted "most likely to be dead or imprisoned by 18".

I honestly believe that if I would have focused on that title, I would have followed that path.One of the things that I thought about almost every day, when I was a kid, was a house in the country. I saw myself leaving the old neighborhood and only coming back for visits. I put myself in a different place. I became everything that I thought about, every day. My dreams and my thoughts kept me from harm.Wishes are a lot like that too. If you were one of those kids that had a lot of secret wishes for your future, chances are you had a few come true. Not all, of course, but a few.Traveling through the old nieghborhood, some of what I saw was discomforting. As I turned a corner I saw a derelict human figure stumbling along the sidewalk.

As a kid I would always wonder if such a person had a family or a past. Did he come from some place or did he just fall out of the sky? Did he have a name? Did he have a wife and kids? Does his family know that he's here? All of these thoughts went through my head as I looked at this sad, sad result of human abuse.

Then, as he looked up, we made eye contact. I knew him. I knew that man. He was someone once. What has happened to him? Why was he walking around this way? What could have possibly changed his life so dramatically that he had come to this?I remember so much about him. As a young man, he had more than anyone could ask for. He had money, a family, friends, cars. He had one of the sweetest and prettiest girlfriends in the entire neighborhood. In fact, he was one of the few people I knew as a boy who had a profession before he was eighteen. He had gone to barber college and had landed a position with one of the more popular barber shops in the neighborhood.

He had all the trappings of a successful, materialistic human being.I also remember that all he ever talked about was how depressing this neighborhood was. He sarcastically complained about how it was falling apart; That there was nothing but poverty everywhere, etc. etc.As I looked at him stumbling down the street, I realized that he became everything he had ever thought about. He became poverty. He became depression. He became derelict. I am not being judgemental, but I recalled that this man also came into a large sum of money when he was in his early thirties. He had enough money to escape from this place which he thought was so depressing. We can never rewind the past, but I believe that he had the power and financial ability to move his family to anywhere in the world. He may have done everything he could to change his environment but his life would have been the same.All we are to ourselves is what we think we are.

All we are to others is what they think we are. All we are is thoughts. Dr. Wayne Dyer says that the "ancestor to everything that ever happens to us in our life, is a thought."If our thoughts are positive, constructive and progenerating we will focus on things that will be positive and productive. If our thoughts are on depression and all that we lack, then we will experience only the negative side of life, because that is what we are.This is the most valuable secret that I have ever discovered. No one, and I mean absolutely no one can blame any outside influence for the condition of their life. Everything that we ingest, we become. Everything that we think, we become.

One of the most difficult feelings to attempt to explain is one that I guess everyone experiences more than once in their lives...depression.I have experienced this thing called depression in many different forms throughout my life. Each time that it overcame me I was helpless against its power.I often wonder how anything that you can't see, smell or touch can be so powerful over you. How can it hit you and knock you down if it has no fists? How can it kick you so hard when you are down, when it has no feet?How can it find you, even when you hide in the darkest hiding places, when it has no eyes? How can it win and flaunt its victory, when it has no voice of its own? And when it looses, where does it go to wait for the next fight?

Everything in our life began as a figment of our imagination. If we can imagine it, it can happen. If we focus on it, it will happen. If we are already living it, it is!

I think depression is a silent expression of our imagination, just as excitement, enthusiasm or joy is an expression.If we imagine something wonderful, and we choose to express it, we usually do it with verbal excitement. Our enthusiasm pours out for everyone to share. If we have felt joy at any time in our lives, we have surely shared it with others in many ways, but mostly it is a verbal expression.In a way I look at these expressions as a venting of our mind or a venting of our brain, if you prefer to be more physical. As thoughts and concepts begin to build in our mind (brain) they actually take up space. Not in the way that a pair of socks take up space in a dresser drawer, but in such a way that as the thoughts become more and more similarly defined, they begin to cluster together and become a priority within us.

The excitement of a new born baby that a father experiences is most overwhelming because he has fostered all of these thoughts and anticipations. He has developed imaginations and apprehensions. They have swelled up to a boiling point and must be released. As they are released, they burst with verbal and physical excitement and his joy and enthusiasm can be read by all around him.Depression has a much different recipe. It cooks in a very similar way. However, the thoughts are almost all negative. They also stem from imagination, but the anticipation is failure, crisis, doom, disaster, destruction, ruin and breakdown.With no verbal venting of these thoughts, they begin to cluster and form as a priority in our minds. As they grow in number, they begin to "cook".

They are churned over and over again in our minds like a pressure cooker. With no vent to release the expression they are sent right back to the center of the flame for more and more heat.One of the worst feelings that I have ever had is the feeling of incompetence. I know that I am a capable and determined man. I know that I have certain talents that separate me from the next person.I know that I have the abilities to do just about anything that I need to do to succeed, yet somewhere, deep down in that cavern of my mind there is a small pot of stew called the "what if I don't make it-stew". You know the one. It has a lot of garlic and an aroma that you instantly recognize, the second it begins to boil.

This depression is so hard to describe, yet when it surfaces it is exactly the same every time. Without exception, it begins with a single, negative thought. It begins with a simple question that is asked within me..."what if I don't succeed at this"? "what if it doesn't work"? "what if I fail"?As my obedient brain searches for the answer to the question which I have asked, it finds all the answers right there in this little pot of stew that had been frozen and stored away. It begins to reheat all of the thoughts, impressions, pictures and imaginations that provide the answer to the question. As the stew begins to boil, the pressure begins to build and the lid is pressed down tightly to create steam. After a while there is only one aroma within my mind, there is no room for anything positive or productive, as this steam has filled my mind and permeated every physical part of my body.The pictures in my mind become very clear. Hey, the brain is still in really good working order. Each question is provided with a detailed descriptive answer."If you fail---this is what you will look like, feel like, think like. This is what you will do to fail. Here is the blueprint for failure...you asked for it, boss, so here it is." The brain does exactly as it is told."If you don't make it, if you don't succeed, this is how you will act. This is what you will have left of your pile of stuff. This is what you will lose. Here's exactly what you must do to make all of these things happen, just as you see them here."With no way to vent the steam. With no expression to release the emotion, other than tears, sweat and discomfort I have no defense against its power. It overcomes me.It controls my thoughts, since it has filled the viewing area of my mind with only the terrible answers to my questions. I am disconnected from my talent and ability center. I have no access to any of the positive thoughts that make me what I really want to be. I find myself staring off into oblivion or looking for something without knowing what I'm looking for.I shuffle through papers or notes. I rearrange things. I take only the simplest tasks to perform and I have absolutely no enthusiasm for anything in my life. It has possessed me.This is not an evil, wicked, mean, bad and nasty little devil lurking around inside me, trying to pull me down. There are no foreign objects flying around in there shooting down my positive mental attitude. It's me. It's just me. It is what I am thinking about. They are beconming me.My brain and my mind are all mine.

I have complete control over everything that goes in and everything that comes out. Everything that I think about, every day will eventually find a way into my life......unless I can freeze it and store it way back in some dark corner, and never, ever call it up again. In my life, fortunately, this form of depression manifests itself only occasionally. But, I have discovered a way to predict its arrival. I can smell it before it even starts to boil.Hey, it's my brain and I'm the guy asking the questions. If I'm going to have negative thoughts and ask the kinds of questions that will produce negative answers I can only expect the outcome to have a garlic smell. No one really knows the absolute definition of where depression comes from or how to get rid of it. But, for me, this concept is simple enough.If you are not depressed this very minute, there is one rule that you can follow that can and will make a tremendous difference in your life.

Forget positive mental attitude. It is too damn hard to always think positive. Instead, eliminate negative thinking from your life. Sounds easy, eh!It is. It really is. Oh, I don't mean that you can't look at both sides to every dilemma. I'm not saying that you won't see the down side of a problem or have the intelligence to predict a no win situation. But it is easy if you follow only one simple rule. Never---never, ever ask a negative question of yourself that relates to your personal outcome in a situation. Move confidently and positively in the direction of your dreams, without the extra baggage of negative thinking, and you will rarely, if ever have to drag yourself from the depths of depression again.If, on the other hand, you find yourself in one of those depressive states, please understand that I have been there and I know that nothing I can say can make it go away.It is one of the strangest phenomenons, this thing called depression. All the influence in the world has little effect on the afflicted. It has to handled from within.

If you know how to do it, it comes fairly easily. For those who are unaware that there is a method to release the pressure that has built up inside, it may be years before relief arrives, if at all.The elimination process may sound as strange as my recommendation of the absence of negative thoughts, but it works for me and this is my book, so if you read on you will at least find what works for me.To eliminate depression you must "know" that you can eliminate depression. This statement should not be taken lightly. It is more important than any other part of the solution. Taking my word for it is not enough.

First, you must decide that you are depressed and not just feeling under the weather ( which is often an excuse for real depression ).Next, you must decide that you are going to do something about it and most importantly that you CAN do something about it. This is so important to the process that without the absolute knowledge that it can work, you will only go deeper into the stew. You can't just belive it..you must know it!The process can take hours, days or minutes, depending on how quickly you regain control.

This is going to sound a bit strange, but like I said, it works for me and it's my book.Select a room with a large mirror. Find a mirror that you can get a full view of yourself. Usually, a bathroom works best for me.Enter the room and close the door without looking in the mirror. Turn out the light. The room should be as dark as it can be. Stand up in front of the mirror and take a few deep breaths and count to ten or do what you do to try to get relaxed. I know you are depressed, but just follow along.Know that in your mind are thousands of thoughts that have been boiling away since your depression began.

They have blocked the passage to any rational or confident thoughts that you might have for yourself.Accept the fact that these thoughts are the cause of the depression. Be as depressed as you can be. That's right! Let all of the worst thoughts come to the surface and manifest themselves in the worst pictures you can muster.Allow yourself to "think" all of the things that have been worrying you since your depression began. Get them all to surface and become fresh in your mind.

Go ahead and be your best, depressed self. Remember that the brain is one of your most effective tools. It works for you. You are supposed to be in control. But, for some reason it is operating on automatic pilot and sending all the wrong messages to you. Remember also that the brain is not intelligent. It can only process what you give it to process. It can only receive input and retrieve stored information.What you are about to do is confuse your brain into believing that you are two people instead of one and that it has a choice in which body it will reside. (I told you this was going to sound strange, read on).

If you ever wanted to be an actor or an actress, believe me, this is your most important role. When you turn on the lights you must KNOW that there are truly two people in the room. You and that sick, depressed and wretched creature in the mirror. Don't talk. Just look into the mirror at this person. Remember the movie, "West Side Story"? Well, this person in the mirror is on your turf and you really don't appreciate it. You are giving him (or her) cold hard stares and looks that can kill. Look at the clothes that he's wearing. Look at his hair and skin.

Step back and look at the way that he's standing and staring back at you. You really don't like what you see, do you?(Let's stop for a minute so you can understand what is really happening and to confirm that I'm not just trying another version of Mary Worth). Read the next few paragraphs very slowly and carefully.During depression the most active function of the brain is the retrieval and delivery functions. In most cases your input function has become shut off from the rest of the activity. You are not receptive to much of what anyone says or does to or for you. The amount of input is not important, but the re-activation of the input function is the key.What you are doing, by standing in front of this mirror, without speaking, is turning on the input function of the brain with pure, silent, visual pictures.The brain will open a new input cell and begin to store the information as it is received.

Remember, the brain will only believe what you tell it to believe. It will only process what you ask it to process. And you will now confuse the hell out of it.I mentioned earlier that expression was the only thing missing from the depression system. It is now time for total and unrestricted expression. The brain has automatically recorded, by the picture messages that you have sent it, that you (the person standing on the floor in front of the mirror) are separate and distinct from the person in the mirror.It believes it!

So go for it. Be the best actor you have ever been and tell that dirty S.O.B. how you feel. Become Vince Lombardi and talk to him like it's half time and the score is 48 to 2 and he's loosing. But you know that he has it in him to be a winner. Talk to her like you are her big sister and she has really screwed up this time. But, if she takes your advice she will and can make it. Talk for as long and as loud as you can. Express yourself, like you never, ever have before. Give the best lecture you have ever heard.Get it out! Say it all!

Your brain has conveniently separated all the negative, depressed thoughts and the positive and confident thoughts into two, distinct and separate personalities.Now here's the really crazy part. Don't stop until the person in the mirror starts to answer back.As you begin to see the change in the person in the mirror, you will notice that he is starting to act like you. He is sounding more positive. In fact, he is beginning to lecture you on keeping your head on straight. Let him talk. As long as he has something positive to say, let him ramble on. If he gets the slightest negative word or phrase going, cut him short and take control of the conversation.You will begin to like this person again. He is becoming acceptable to you. He doesn't seem so foreign to you anymore. You can begin to feel forgiving. You are deciding that he can stay on your turf so long as he remains in control of his faculties.WARNING: The brain will allow this masquerade for only so long before it has to process the information you are giving it. It's been tricked into allowing all these positive thoughts to fill your mind's picture screen. Slowly the stew will go from pressure cooking to boiling, to simmer, to cooling and finally it will be frozen again.

This entire process may need to be repeated as often as it takes, but it works. It works because I know it works. And, by the way, it's not such a bad idea to have a cordial conversation with this person in the mirror as often as you find necessary, provided it is always a pep talk.Once you have replaced the negative stew and the normal functions are in working order again, you should not try to forget how you felt. Be aware that this was a depression. Know how it started and know how it grew to the level that it did. Try to understand the types of questions you asked your brain, that got you to this low of lows.Was it something that you said? You're dammned right it was!

Understand that it began with some simple questions and doubts that you gave your brain to process.Also be aware that we are just simple humans, and this can happen again. Don't dwell on it. Don't expect it. Don't think about it, but be aware. When and if it happens again, you will be surprised how differently you will react, now that you know that it is not such a mystery. Can you imaging driving along the highway and just letting go of the wheel of your automobile? You would never do such a stupid thing. Why would you ever let go of the controls of your own life and allow it to shift into automatic pilot, with no direction or guidance from you.Whatever you eat, you will become. Whatever you put into your body or your mind is what you will become. Whatever you think about, all day long, is what you will eventually become. If you control how you think and what you think, you can control your life.But now, if it ever goes on automatic pilot, you know that you can get it back.

Try it! Or, if you have a method of your own, let me know how it works for you. To continue, go to CHAPTER TEN ot return to the CONTENTS PAGE